I had a plan for this rhubarb. I was all "I know! I will use the first and potentially only glorious rhubarb of the season in making an exciting rhubarb sorbet!"
So I did it.
I made simple syrup by dissolving sugar in boiling water. Then I cut the rhubarb into bits, threw them into the syrup, and simmered it until the rhubarb broke down. I used about a cup of water, maybe 1/3 cup of sugar, and seven or eight stalks of rhubarb, so after the rhubarb had broken down, the mixture was pretty thin. I simmered it down a little more, maybe 25 minutes total, to evaporate off some liquid and make the flavor more concentrated.
Then I put the business through a wire strainer to get out all the fibrous bits. This required whipping all the wet pulp while in the sieve, so as to extract as much liquid as possible through centripetal force. Science!
When that was done, I threw out the pulp and put my bowl of vibrant pink rhubarb liquor in the refrigerator overnight. Note: liquids need to be COLD before you try to freeze them in an ice cream machine. I actually think we waited two nights.
Then I threw everything in the machine, hit the switch, and waited until it was done.
The resulting sorbet was very pretty. Pink! I mean, it was pretty if you like pink things. Pink: a color with too much baggage.
Unfortunately, when we actually tried the sorbet, neither of us liked it. I put it in the freezer to be all pink and baleful at us.
EILEEN and JOHN are at their computers in the nerd cave. They each take a contemplative bite of sorbet.
EILEEN: Do you hate it?
JOHN: I hate it!
EILEEN: I knew it!
PAUSE. EILEEN slowly takes another bite.
JOHN: But what do you think of it?
EILEEN: I think there's a reason rhubarb is usually cooked with something else.
JOHN: That's the most diplomatic way you could possibly phrase that!