For this year's spring fertility festival, we went over to Matthew and Aimee's to eat delicious lasagna and desecrate eggs. Yeah. It was pretty awesome.

I forgot my camera, so I only have pictures of the eggs we brought home. I drew a series of ludicrous icons, including Jesus, Hildegarde von Bingen, and a Catherine wheel, but I think my favorites are all the creatures of the deep.

HELL YES GIANT SQUID

Then this morning we broke out our gigantic pile of eggs to make egg salad.

Egg salad is the easiest.

hardboiled eggs
lots of fresh dill
mayo, mustard
salt, pepper
green onion and radish if you have them
for eating: cucumber slices, toast

Shell all the eggs, rinsing them under cold water to get rid of any shards. The easiest way to peel an egg is to whack it severely all over with the back of a spoon, then begin peeling at the wider end, where the air bubble usually rests. Get under the membrane and you're good to go.

Some of our eggs had exciting veins of food coloring in them from the dye. Blue eggs!

Chop your eggs roughly and throw them into a large bowl.

Strip as many dill fronds as you can stand from a bunch of dill stalks. The dill is absolutely key here: you must use it, and you must use a lot. If you absolutely can't find dill in the stores, get some seeds and a pot so you can eat it later, then use more green onion and radish and some chopped fresh parsley to cover for it. DILL.

Mince up your pile of dill, then throw it into the eggs. This picture illustrates how much dill you want. We used half a large bunch.

Finely chop some green onions and add them as well. Slice half-moons of radish and add them if you have any radishes. We, unfortunately, had no radishes. Boo! Use them if you possibly can.

Add a couple big spoonfuls of mayo, a smaller spoonful of good grain mustard, and a smattering of salt and pepper. Mix it all up with a spoon, crushing the egg yolks into the mayo/etc mix when you come across them.

Now you can eat it! Pile it on some bread, wrap it in sturdy lettuce, eat it with a spoon.

Our new favorite way to eat egg salad is piled on top of English cucumber slices: extra vegetable crunch plus the cucumber water content and sweetness is an excellent idea. Daikon slices would work really well here too: radish!

Or, if you wanted to be fancy, you could melon-ball some little cups out of daikon, cucumbers, or big radishes, then fill them with salad and an extra sprig of dill. We probably wouldn't bother, though. Much better to just lay out the huge bowl of salad, some spoons, and a platter of cucumber, daikon, big carrot, and toasted baguette slices, with maybe some sprouts to throw on top. Do it!