So many people have family traditions of an elaborate christmas morning breakfast, full of every dish imaginable: sweet sticky cinnamon buns and coffee cakes, waffles and french toast drenched in syrup and buried in compotes, muffins bursting with blueberries or cranberries, platters of crispy bacon, savory sausage, or both, and of course the most classic of all breakfast foods: the egg.

We make none of these things. Instead, the traditional holiday breakfast around here is the bagel.

Bagels, unlike most of the breakfasts above, require almost zero effort. All you really need to do is slice them in half, toast them to your specifications, and spread them with your choice of deliciousnesses. Pour yourself a cup of coffee and you have the perfect breakfast.

But on a holiday morning like this, I want at least a little fance. This calls for a homemade schmear!

I decided to try out a combination I've had kicking around in my head for awhile: red onion and fresh dill. I wanted to add chopped capers as well, but our jar of capers turned out to be way too old to use, so I opted for black pepper instead. The results were not only delightfully crunchy, savory, and herbal, but also oddly reminiscent of my favorite egg salad. But then, I tend to use as much dill as possible there, so that makes sense.

If you aren't into red onion and dill, have some more schmear ideas: one and two. So many delicious combinations!


Red onion, dill, and black pepper schmear

cream cheese
red onion
fresh dill
black pepper
plain yogurt or milk, optional

Finely mince about a quarter of a red onion. Pick the leaves off about ten stems of dill and chop them up too.

In a small bowl, combine a couple large slices of cream cheese with the red onion and dill. Grind a generous amount of black pepper over the top. Add a spoonful of yogurt or a small splash of milk for ease of mixability.

Mash everything together with a fork until well combined. Check out the ingredient proportions and add more of whatever you think might be lacking.

Spread your schmear on the toasted bagel of your choice. Eat with impunity.


Also, have a cup of coffee. COFFEE.

Now you will be well fortified to rip open presents.

Hope you all have a wonderful holiday and get some much-needed relaxation in!